Your Character Speaks Volumes!

Posted on Posted in Marriage Chronicles

Isn’t it great to possess all the visible features of beauty that would make any man want to take you home to mama? However, wouldn’t it be even greater, if behind all that beauty laid a beautiful character or attitude that complemented that external beauty?

Today, our generation defines beauty as something that should be based only on a woman’s physical attributes: her hair, toned abs, perfectly manicured nails, skinny or curvaceous figure, perfectly arched brows…the list is endless. There’s often little or no mention, whatsoever, of her character or moral values such as loyalty, selflessness, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, forgiving spirit, loving and caring attributes, the essentials needed for maintaining and sustaining a good relationship or marriage.

It bothers me a great deal when I look around and see the way marriages are crumbling like cheap suitcases, I can’t but wonder what is really going on in our days? At present, most of us could probably testify to knowing someone who knows someone that knows someone that is separated, filing for, or has just gone through a divorce. So, I can safely conclude at this point, that something is wrong somewhere.

I recall coming across a young lady named Esther, a few years ago, who made such an impression on me that I’ve since not been able to shake off. Why may you ask? What sort of impression could this possibly be? Was it her style, carriage, hair, makeup or perhaps her overwhelming beauty, you wonder? Well, sorry to disappoint if you thought it must have been either or all of those attributes…LOL!  Oh, certainly, I did notice those in the first instance, like we all tend to do with people’s appearances when we first meet them before we draw close enough to see if they are as nice as their outfits or appearances suggest. Indeed, besides all the external apparel, it was her character that I couldn’t shake off. The respectful manner in which she spoke and responded to the housekeeper and the doorman when she visited Alex – her fiance.

It is also worth mentioning, by the way, that once, when she went shopping, she came across a wristwatch that Alex loved –the exact one he’d been gawking at online recently and was dying to have. With just enough money to procure the channel bag she’d also been eye-balling lately, she felt a bit torn. “Alex’s watch or my channel bag?” Is the jury going to be out on this one? I wondered. However, to my utter surprise, Esther marched straight to the cashier’s desk to pay for the watch and not the bag. Now, for you bag lovers out there who can relate, we know the tremendous sacrifice that must have been for a stylish girl. What was the big lesson here? Yup – you guessed right! “Selflessness”. True love makes costly sacrifices.

Every man desires to be with a beautiful lady that he can show off to all his friends, but how much more when she also puts him and his needs before hers. Even though a man desires a trophy wife, rarely would you find a man that would be willing to compromise his peace of mind and peaceful home for a mere pretty face. I know this as well as you do because at one time or the other we have come across guys that are out of this world drop dead gorgeous, only to set eyes on his fiancé or wife and we go “How did that happen”? LOL. Nevertheless, simply check out the lady’s character and there goes your curiosity. One might ask, “How does my character affect or determine whether or not I will have a peaceful home?” Please, ask your married friends that question in the meantime, before I talk on that.

So, what’s the point of all this? Alex a successful, young businessman wanted to settle down. His mum (oh bless her dear heart) had introduced him to most of her friend’s daughters (you know how mothers can be when they think you are not pulling your weight on this marriage matter and decide to get the job done themselves…LOL). Esther happened to be one of those friend’s daughters but she was very different from the rest. She was respectful, polite, selfless and oh yes, she was a head turner. However, it was not her beauty that made her score with Alex or his mum but her character. She stood out above all of Alex s’ exes and the other ladies he had met because of her notable character traits.

Let’s take a detour and imagine that Esther was stuck-up and looked down her nose at others thinking they were not in her league or she was just generally plain rude. I would not have noticed her let alone be inspired to write about her. Believe me, I am definitely not against any woman’s beauty in the slightest. After all, we are all beautiful and unique in our own way. If beauty were the only condiment that made a marriage thrive and succeed, then all the swimsuit models and celebrities we read about getting divorced, remarried and divorced again won’t be headlines in the tabloids. Any woman can be made beautiful with the right grooming, so no one should be judged based on her looks. In my humble opinion, Esther’s character gave her more scores than any other girl Alex had dated in the past.

As I bring this discourse to a close, I recall, rather vividly, at one of the weddings, I worked on, as the groom gave his speech. He said and I quote, “I asked God for a beautiful woman but I didn’t just want her to be beautiful with all the perks. I wanted her beauty to reflect who she really is on the inside; I thank God for choosing you for me. You are beautiful both inside and oooh yes, outside too”. I rest my thoughts now!


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